


Moving In & Moving On

by thesalmondean



Series: Interludes [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Gap Filler, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 17:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7542148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesalmondean/pseuds/thesalmondean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron visits Jackson's grave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving In & Moving On

**Author's Note:**

> This part takes place sometime after the episode aired July 19 2016, and before the episode aired July 21 2016.

"I'm not really sure what I'm doing here," Aaron stared at the grassy patch that marked the spot where, five years ago, Jackson was laid to rest.

It looked like all the other grassy patches in front of all the other headstones. There was nothing unique or special about it – and that weighed a bit on Aaron's heart because Jackson had been special and unique.

"It's been awhile. A long while," he sighed, ashamed because he couldn't even remember the last time he'd stopped here. He remembered catching sight of Jackson's headstone out of the corner of his eye when he and his mum had gone to Edna's grave the day she'd been buried; but he hadn’t stopped.

At the thought of her, Aaron glanced down the row of headstones to Edna's. The mound of dirt was still slightly raised and still mostly dirt – though a few tiny blades of bright green grass were beginning to emerge. There were many bouquets and decorations adorning her gravesite, and Aaron wished he'd stopped at David's to get a little something, or even brought a can to share. He felt silly having brought what he did bring…though he wasn’t sure why.

Lifting his hand, Aaron stared at the framed photo he was holding. He’d found it crammed to the back of one of the drawers he’d cleared out for Robert. It was from Jackson’s tandem skydive – post-accident. The last time he had looked well and truly happy. A small smile played at Aaron’s mouth as he recalled the day, and his own feelings of trepidation (he still refused to admit he’d been scared) at joining his boyfriend on the jump.

"Remember the skydive? You were so full of life that day. I'd forgotten your mum gave me photos from it," Aaron wondered silently where Hazel was – and if she was doing okay. He’d ignored her calls and letters at first, then had left for France and he never asked his mum if she’d continued to try and keep in touch – and she hadn’t said if she had, either. Aaron did feel a bit bad for that.

Taking a few steps forward, Aaron leaned down and placed the framed photo in the trimmed grass at the base of the headstone. He stared at the name, and the dates, and the words etched there-

_“Loving Son & Boyfriend”_

-before straightening up. Scrubbing his face with his hands, Aaron took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The words on the headstone didn’t bother him like they used to; and the guilt he used to feel for the part he played in Jackson's death had mostly faded, but Aaron had to wonder if that was because he never visited anymore, or if he’d actually forgiven himself for what he'd done. It was a little of both he supposed.

"It's your birthday soon," Aaron said softly, staring at the dates etched on the headstone even though he hadn't needed them to remind him. Jackson would have been 27 this year. It sounded so old, and when Aaron tried to imagine a 27-year-old Jackson he found he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Doesn't matter I suppose," Aaron said out loud, just as a bird called out in apparent musical response from the hedgerow at the edge of the cemetery; Aaron glanced in the direction of the call before turning back to the headstone.

"I am sorry I didn’t visit more," he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, "had a lot going on. But ya probably know."

Shuffling his feet awkwardly, Aaron considered whether he really believed Jackson was aware of anything anymore. 

"I still miss you sometimes," Aaron blurted, surprising himself with the realization of the truth in the statement.

It was true he thought about Jackson less and less as time passed - but there were still days, and moments, when a memory would surface, or something would happen and just like that Aaron would see Jackson's goofy grin, and hear his voice making some sarcastic remark; and in those moments Aaron did miss him, and though those moments used to make him desperately sad, now they mostly made him smile.

"I think I'm ready to move on," Aaron chewed nervously at his lower lip, for some reason expecting the ghost of Jackson to appear before him and strike him down.

Truthfully though, Aaron had started moving on quite some time ago – the moment he’d realized he loved Robert if he were to pinpoint it exactly – he’d just never really said it out loud to Jackson (or to Jackson’s grave, rather). Now that he was doing it he felt silly. Jackson was dead and really didn’t care about anything anymore. But for whatever reason, Aaron felt compelled to explain himself – to really put all of that part of his life behind him. He was absolutely certain Jackson would understand; because like Aaron had promised him, he would never forget him.

The cheerful, melodic song of the same bird as before carried across the silent cemetery.

"I'm with someone. Robert," Aaron smiled when he said his name, his body warming at the thought of Robert touching him, and kissing him, and loving him; the promise of Robert in his bed every night giving him goosebumps, the thought of waking up with him every morning making his heart race. 

"And it's good, mostly. I mean things are good. For now,” Aaron paused, “he’s moving in, so..."

Movement in his periphery, accompanied by the flutter of wings and a chirp, caught Aaron’s attention and glancing down the row of headstones, Aaron saw the same bird that had been singing at the edge of the cemetery now perched atop Edna's stone.

"I might not be back," Aaron said, watching the bird for a moment before turning back to Jackson’s stone, a small lump forming in his throat. "I just needed to tell you - to let you know - I'll always love you. And I'll always remember you. Like I promised I would."

"Aaron?"

Robert's voice carried through the warm, summer air and Aaron spun on his heels to find Robert standing several yards down the row. A single tear threatened to slip from Aaron's eye, but he blinked it away as he offered a sloppy smile to his confused boyfriend.

"Hiya," he took a step away from Jackson's grave, towards Robert who was now walking towards him wearing a look on his face that indicated confusion, concern, and of course love. Aaron could practically see and feel it radiating off of him, and as Robert got closer the feeling only intensified until Aaron thought his chest might burst with his own feelings of love. He’d loved Jackson, but it had been nothing like this all encompassing need and desire he felt for Robert.

"What're you doing here?" Aaron asked as he watched Robert’s eyes move from Aaron's face, to Jackson's headstone and the photo sitting there, then back to Aaron's face again. 

"I had an impulse to stop by my dad's grave," Robert said, “to talk to him. I haven’t done it in ages.”

Robert’s eyes shifted again, from Aaron's face to Jackson's stone and back again, and Aaron thought he could see inevitable questions forming.

"You alright?" Robert finally asked, though Aaron sensed the innocuous question was laced with more meaning than the casual nature of it indicated.

"Hmmm," Aaron hummed as he nodded and smiled, hazarding one last glance over his shoulder at the stone, and the photo, before moving closer to Robert and taking his hand. 

"I’ve got drawers cleared out for ya. Ready to move your stuff? Or do ya still want to go visit your dad?" Aaron asked, slowly leading Robert away from Jackson's grave and towards the road, pretending not to see Robert also glance one last time back at the headstone, unasked questions very obviously swirling in his head.

"Oh I’m ready. Are you sure you are?" Robert replied after a moment, seemingly deciding not to ask anything just yet and instead tightening his grip on Aaron's hand. Aaron would happily answer any of Robert’s questions, but for the moment he was glad Robert left it alone.

“Never been more ready in my life,” Aaron teased, feeling warmth emanate from his core and it was not at all unwelcome; he was more than ready to christen what had formerly been his bedroom as now _their bedroom_ , and he was ready to do so as soon as possible, before Liv and Noah got home from school.

They were halfway down the row when the bird called out again. Aaron, for reasons he couldn’t explain, looked back over his shoulder and what he saw stopped him in his tracks. 

"What?" Robert was a couple steps ahead, their arms were stretched taught as he was still gripping Aaron’s hand. Aaron heard the question but he could only stare at the bird. 

He hadn't really noticed before, but it had a brilliant yellow breast, and a lovely, pleasing chirping kind of call. But that wasn’t what had caught Aaron’s attention. What had stopped Aaron in his tracks was the fact that the bird was now perched upon Jackson's grave, and appeared to be watching Aaron and Robert. Aaron would swear in a court of law that the bird was looking right at them, singing and chirping.

"Aaron?" Robert's voice prodded, gently, and Aaron turned to look at him, smiling wide and seeing slight surprise in Robert's face.

"All good," Aaron started walking again, considering telling Robert about the bird - but decided against it.

Aaron didn't necessarily believe in signs, or reincarnation, or even the afterlife – but a part of him just knew the bird was a sign from Jackson. A sign that indeed Aaron had to move on, and that it was okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been wanting some sort of moment with Aaron at Jackson’s gravesite – ever since Aaron's return in '14 and especially since we caught a glimpse of it the day Edna was buried. So this is what became of that need. I think it fits well into the current stoyline, too, as I think it’s very likely Aaron has many photos of Jackson potentially floating around his bedroom, hidden in various places. Thanks for reading!
> 
> I’ve decided to turn “Interludes” into a fic series as I don’t think it works very well anymore as a chapter fic. The previously posted one-shot gap-fillers will remain grouped, but all new ones moving forward will be individual stories posted as part of the series (also titled Interludes). If you’ve previously subscribed to the chapter-fic, please consider subscribing to the new series. Thanks!


End file.
